Baby's Journal

November 16th, 2005

09:23 am
I haven't been on my medication in a month. The anxiety is something I have a bit more control over now, now that I know its a sickness not actually there. Its the paranoia I can't stand. I am worried I have waited too long to start backup on my pills, I hate that sick dissiness that they cause. Well too bad, must be medicated.

Yay for tomorrow. I am spending the day with my 2 yr old best friend forever! I love that baby like she were mine. Amanda's away this week, so I have her car, sweet deal. The shop called yesterday though, and mine is all fixed, and all the body parts for it should be here soon, and once again my car will be normal- a year later.

Tomorrow is the 17th which means I get to celebrate another month together with Jon. I can't believe sometimes how much I love him. Its crazy because he is my very best friend, I miss him every second I am not with him, and the rest of my life is going to be spent with him. Thats so awesome. Its like there was always this void in my life, and meeting him filled every hole and rid of every fear I had. It helps that he has amazing taste in jewelry and flowers, and women. He got me, didn't he?

Jon and I have Parent teacher conferences tonight for Madison, who came home with a homework award last night! She is amazing, just like her father. What a good life I've been given.
Time to go to work, another thing I love! I have the best job in the world. Anyone unemployed, hate your current job? Starbucks baby!
Current Mood:

cheerful
Current Music: Ghost- Howie Day

November 14th, 2005

11:36 am - being a housewifie...
Today has been fun so far. I woke up and went to Julie's w/ emily to make Halos and wrapped boxes for the toy drive at work. Then I came back, had my broke car towed- but I have Amanda's fancy camry for the week. So I am doing Laundry and making spaghetti sauce. I'm heading to work early so I can see my baby for a little while, since I won't be home til late. It's a good day.
Current Mood:

happy

October 27th, 2005

07:08 am - Happily Ever After...
Work yesterday was actually fun. After I basically was incharge for the afternoon, I got to spend the whole night cleaning, which I reallylove to do. No,seriously. I think somethings a bit wrong with my spacebar, so pardon any mistakes. After work, I made Jon and I dinner, and we cuddled in front of our fireplace. It was like out of a movie. Then a folded laundry, my fave thing ever! Got tickled to death before falling asleep. aww!
Today is going to be awesome. My mom and I are going to the Wadsworth Athenium in Hartford to see the Picasso and Dali exhibit. She's taking me for my birthday, so I bet I can pick out someawesome stuff from their incredible gift shop!!! Then Jon and I have Madison til 8, and I have planned something romantic for he and I after... its a good life.
Current Mood:

good

October 25th, 2005

08:00 pm - Wowzer!!!
Um, don't watch this if you are terrified of scary things, yes you Maren!!!

Happy almost Halloween!!!

http://www.princeton.edu/~ccaro/mist_or_ghost.html

October 17th, 2005

12:28 pm - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
This is a special message to my Cait and AL!

I miss you girls!!! I was supposed to be in boston this weekend, but short on funds. I will be there soon!!! I love you both! MUAH!
Current Mood:

loved

October 16th, 2005

09:15 pm - Aww. what a cute new user pic...... Oh, Thanks.
It is officially my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORRAY!!!
Well this has been quite a weekend. After nine days of rain, today was sunny and beautiful. Jon and I took Madison to get pumkins yesterday, and last night he and I decided to rent first few episodes of LOST, since we can never find a good movie at Blockbuster. Well today after my time with Gianna, he and I layed in bed with pizza and beer and have now seen eleven episodes! Wow its a good show, but its weird to have seen so much of it in two days, sort of a bit too real now. Anyway crazy people lost on this awesome island.
Back to how its my birthday, today (well its aftermidnight so I can say that)! Its too bad Jon's passed out, mighthave been able to get a present out of him before tomorrow, well probably not.
I had the best time with Gianna today, We drove around and looked at people's halloween/Fall decorations, then jumped in leaves, and picked a pumpkin.
I have the day off tomorrow, but have nothing planned. Hope its a great birthday!!!! And since Jon is the best present buyer EVER, I know I am in for something great! Well I must sleep now, so I can wake up and officially be 22 years old!
Current Mood:

excited

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October 5th, 2005

12:31 pm
Check out my awesome new family!!
Since I was given the nicest digital camera EVER for my anniversary, I will be uploading pictures as much as I can. It's been forever since I sat down at my computer for this amount of time, and I don't know when I will have time again, but check out what I have posted so far...

http://community.webshots.com/user/jesssmith317
Current Mood:

accomplished

August 30th, 2005

10:10 am - Getting there...
Of course I got another flat tire today, ran over a bunjee cord which dug into my tire, but my wonderful boyfriend came and put on my spare, and sent me to his friends shop, and they plugged the hole. So Gianna and I can still cruise around and hopefully hit up the pengiun movie later today!! First I have to head to S'bucks to pick up my tips, bc I am super poor until pay day. And my whole check has to go to car insurance, and the super cool labor day picnic Jon and I are throwing. Well it's diaper changing time, then off to run errands.
*I really miss all my boston girls, and I am so happy you are all doing well. Cait- congrats on being super successful, and leah- you looked so pretty in those wedding pics, and the rest of you are always in my thoughts....

July 26th, 2005

06:27 pm - Sitting on my babies lap,
So the apartment in Naugatuck is almost done, and it's been about two months living there. I couldn't think of anywhere else I would want to be. Jon and I are having a Labor day/ house warming party which should be really fun since none of my family has seen the place.
After years of searching I finally found the perfect white patent leather hang bag, YAY! Retiring Louis II...
-Starbucks is still going well, besides my week off last week, after attempting to fly across our bedroom, which is still concrete floors :(
Ha, I started a scene at Watertown Starbucks yesterday, ending in a bit of a confrontation with Carlos, and his new ho. Though he's not worth mine, or anybody else's time, it made me feel a bit better to see him being the victim.
My car is still busted from my accident in January. I got a new hood, which is black, opposite of the rest of the car (which is white), I fit right in in the Ghetto, especially since I have no bumper cover either, but the POS runs great. So once we get some funds, I'll be back to pimpin' once again. See ya'll on the streets! Holla!

May 20th, 2005

11:46 am - Current Events:
Boyfriend: Jon
Occupation: Barista (Starbucks)
Plans for summer: Make enough money to pay off debt/bills
Means of Communication: No cell, owe $$$ :( (may be getting something prepaid next time)
Residence: 302 Wilson St, Waterbury (soon to be cute lil apt in Naugatuck though!!)
Health: Still have those horrid stomach problems, still smoking, and not eating well, but I am happy with my life today, and thats what counts!

Wow thats really all thats new with me, I'm a lil boring...

March 17th, 2005

08:25 am
So last night, Jon came by to drop off my sunglasses (i forgot at his house) and brought me a coffee, aww. Carlos came through, and I ended up heading to his house after work. When I got to my car, there was a bouquet on my windshield, two roses with a note from Jon, saying he's enjoyed spending time with me lately, aww!!! Ok so I called and thanked him, but still went to Carlos'. I need to make a decision huh... UGH! I think I am going to spend tonight (my second fave holiday) with Jon, and see where it goes. He is so boyfriend material, and after a kind thing like that, how could I not like him! But Carlos, uh, he's just something else. He gets me, and I don't think I can resist the temptation. Atleast Jon already knows I am seeing him, so its not like I am being that shady. Anyway, time to go to work!
Thank god for day off tomorrow~

March 16th, 2005

12:02 pm

Dance the night away by karchan85
Name
What you Look like
The Music	Blues

Quiz created with MemeGen!

11:49 am
Everything really is just as I want it to be. I am happy which means my job is going well, my friends rock, and I am sexually satisfied. (plus since medicated, I haven't had a blow up with that anxiety of mine). I have a new crush, he's a big sweetheart, but it something that is going to go very slow this time. We have been friends for a bit, and I have only kissed him, and I like it like that. I don't want to take any step that I am not completely ready for. Carlos and I didn't talk all weekend, and yesterday he calls, missing me, exactly what I was planning on. So we are going to get coffee before I go to work. Maybe I'll get some tonight, or maybe I will store up some sleep so I can party like I am Irish tomorrow!

Stolen from babycait-

[x] I've smoked weed.
[x] I've smoked.
[x] I've gotten high.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I lie to my parents regularly about where I am.
[x] I've failed 2 or more classes in one marking period.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I am bisexual.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[ ] I am a sucker for blonde hair/blue eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I talk in ebonics, except for around black people.
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well. - i just don't boil water well.
[ ] I would not wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I sneak out of the house often.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I think Napoleon Dynamite is overrated.
[ ] I am self concious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[x] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can swallow pills.
[x] I win people over easily.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I've seen a therapist.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
Current Mood:

flirty
Current Music: Howie Day- Collide

March 10th, 2005

11:12 am
So I am officially crazy. Being medicated maybe isnt such a bad thing. Maybe it will make me see things for the way the really are. All this anxiety and crap makes me so worked up. I had a pretty bad break down the other night, really for no reason. I woke up the next day feeling completely drained, but with the intentions of taking much better care of myself.
I stopped by and surprised Carlos at work on Tuesday, yes, during a blizzard. He was ridiculously happy to see me, and even wanted me to stay for lunch with everybody in the office. I was a bit thrown off, and told him I would another time, but it felt great to be so wanted. Then that night he drove out, yes, in a blizzard, to pick me up from being snow bound at Amandas. What a wonderful night.
I Just finished my taxes! Which means someday soon I will have a large amount of money, too bad none of it really belongs to me...
Well I have to get ready for work, ON MY DAY OFF!!! But I have to do what I have to do.... though that seems more like it should be finding a new job.

February 21st, 2005

01:27 pm - Sick of snow.
I hate bad weather because I can not drive in it at all. Ugh. So I am going to buy a car bra. I know it sounds lame, but when your car looks like mine, you'll understand. I think I have to fix the hood though, bc as of now, it doesnt open at all. And I am out of windshield fluid!! And with all this crap on the roads, that sucks.
So I went out saturday night, had super fun with manda and friends. Got really drunk, hehee. Met nice boy, though nice boys are never as fun as sexy bad ass men. What is my issue?!!!
So mom won't let me take this semester off, even though I haven't been going to class really, and am going back to Boston in fall... she drives me nuts. She actually said I would have to quit my job if I cant get to school, is she retarded? Will she pay my bills and give me money, ha, definately not!
My stomach is getting real bad again, maybe because I have been substituting coffee and cigarettes for food too long. So I am quiting smoking (again), still drinking plenty of coffee, but trying to start eating well.
Right so I just brushed off my car, need to shower, and am heading to get coffee (again) before work.
Hopefully tonight goes as planned, I am getting desperate, ha.

February 16th, 2005

01:32 pm
So it seems like everything is going well. I got my promotion at work, and nici was fired. Carlos is being normal, which is great, and it doesnt seem like returning to Simmons is going to be hard. The girl I talked to said they will probably just have me write a short statement on why I want to return, ha ok. So if things keep going well then I will remain little ms. happy.
I spend more time with the baby than ever. She and I are inseperable, though she gets rather whiny lately. I bought her amethest earings for her 2nd birthday this weekend. I'm excited.
So now that I am back to being a key holder at work, I am working crazy hours. I took all Nici's hours, plus kept some of mine. I have two days off in the next two weeks! But that means plenty of money to start paying off all my bills. And maybe towards fixing my busted car, or maybe just a new one. Ugh.
Its almost time for another coffee.... hopefully to refuel me for work tonight. and hopefully some major cuddling time after. aww. :)
Oh so I went with Manda shoppy last night, super fun. I bought the new Paris Hilton perfume, not that I care to have her name on anything I own, but it really smells crazy good!!! MMM :)

YAY carlos just called, going to meet for coffee!!!!! bye got to go!

February 15th, 2005

09:36 am - The difference between being alone, and being lonely has a lot to do with you...
i hate to say it, but valentines sucked. he was a jerk, and though i doubt he realizes it, im upset. Why cant guys just be nice and not have to make us feel dumb when we are just trying to be cute. I sent him a text saying something about it being valentines day, and he took as a sacastic rude remark as if i thought he were oblivious to what day it was. but i was trying to be subtle and cute... and not freak him out by confessing my love on such a ridiculous day. now i am just mad. great.
today is going to be beautiful, and i am going to shower and put something really cute on, and have a great day all on my own.
by the way I smelled this perfume in Filenes yesterday, and I was immediately addicted... but then I looked at the bottle... Paris Hilton, not that she needs my money, but I might have to buy it, so yummy!

January 28th, 2005

10:49 am - BOLD what you have done, add new ones.
Have you ever kissed someone...

on the cheek.
on the lips.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with black hair.
with curly hair.
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
shorter than me.
taller than me.
with a lip ring.
with a piece of clothing missing.
with a piece of my clothing missing.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual.
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday
who was going out with someone close to me..
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
on the dance floor.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band.
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
for one last time.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.
who was sleeping.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.

that I love.

January 27th, 2005

10:25 pm - Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...
School is very cool. Nick (a friend I lost in the breakup) is in my brothers class, and we hung out for a bit after class, and I saw his mom and dad, who were like second parents to all of us in high school. Aww, it was happy :)
Loverboy is awesome... met for coffee/lunch... *blushing*
Supposed to be taking me out tomorrow, or maybe just taking me home with him... aww. Ok do I make you want to barf yet? Sorry, but nobody wants to listen/hear anything about him, and since you don't have to read this if you dont want, I can write whatever! In other words... "I'm a grown as man, and I'll do what I want!" right, manda?

Anyway, so hes awesome, im awesome, and my car should be fixed by tuesday!!! Thats soon right? Aww I hate leaving her in the shop, poor lil baby. but she will be much happier with a new transmission.
If not I will just have to adopt one of his nice cars...

Had two coffees and a hot chocolate.. the obsession continues...
Smoking so much less, but i smoke twice as much when I drink coffee, doesn't sound like much progress, though I dont smoke around him... so thats like half as much... ok rambling.... too much coffee, must go smoke cigarette....

Ok,
Tv time,
then reading book
until I pass out...
Current Mood:

hyper
Current Music: Avril (in my head of course)